Lies, Distortions or Wishful Thinking

Once when I was a young mother, I had a school teacher friend tell me that all kids lie. This statement was in response to my “new mother” philosophies around nurturing, truth telling and attachment parenting. I was an idealist and her statement only deepened my commitment to raising children who were truth tellers. Since that day long ago, I have  come to understand that both of us were right. There is not a child out there who hasn’t distorted the truth either to avoid painful consequences or support wishful thinking that (to an immature brain) “feels” like the truth. I have more mature philosophies now. It is not raising a child who never participates in one of these coping strategies that is the goal, it is raising a child who can tell the difference. When I “accidentally” go through a yellow light that has turned to red, I notice my wishful thinking can later become….”It wasn’t really a RED light.” Or when asked how much I weigh, I shave off a few pounds…., lying, but no one really gets hurt. And when conversing about politics, I may occasionally distort some facts in my desire to get my point across.  Bottom Line……As long as I can tell the difference, I’m much more likely to raise children who can as well.

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