Parental Disagreements

What do you do as parents when your views on childrearing are very different ?  I don’t know of any parents, either biological or in blended families, who don’t struggle when differences of opinion emerge.  Often strong opinions are supported by a large and complex emotional infrastructure.  This infrastructure may be solely based on our own childhood experiences or may also be influenced by external forces (i.e. books we have read, classes we have taken).  If we tenaciously quibble over superficial differences without being willing to resolve the deeper issues, we may win the battle, but ultimately lose the war.  For example, a disagreement about mealtime expectations in a family, needs to include a willingness to look at who your child is energetically and what their underlying needs are.  If you are parenting a child who is shy and earthy by nature, and you are an airy parent who likes to try new foods and “change things up,” you may need to re-evaluate and modify your approach.  A varied and eclectic menu might be appropriate for you, but your child may need new foods to be introduced slowly and in small servings.  Conversely, if you are a grounded, earthy parent who likes a revolving menu containing the same foods each week, you may struggle with an airy child who needs variety and excitement.  They may become bored and develop strong dislikes for specific foods.  You, in return, become frustrated. A power struggle ensues.  Stubbornly promoting your own agenda as parent, might be damaging to everyone involved.  If you take energetic needs into consideration as you formulate your parenting strategies, your disagreements will be fewer and your parental unity stronger.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *