Sarah is sixteen-years old and angry. Fiery by nature, she lacks the balancing energies of water or air. This can happen when the toddler stage is difficult and attended to poorly. Sarah is unable to proceed comfortably through her current energetic stage because she lacks the foundation necessary to do so. Relationships are very difficult. Because Sarah finds herself either enmeshed in rather co-dependent relationships in her attempt to collaborate or alienated from others through her need to compete, she is lonely and defensive. Her emotional expressions are based in fire, so she is seen as temperamental, too intense, irritable, angry, hostile, etc. What can be done to help Sarah?
Well, the first thing I would do is find a physical and artistic outlet for her fire. Sports, art, music, dance are all wonderful options. Then, once an outlet or two are provided, Sarah needs help exploring the realms beneath her anger. One of the ways to accomplish this is by clearing out the top layer of anger and focus on the deeper layers. Next time Sarah is in the throes of anger, I would guide her through physically and emotionally expressing herself for a limited period of time, say 5 minutes. Then, while rocking in a chair, or hammock, or standing and swaying back and forth, I would direct Sarah to notice what she “feels” when she breathes and sways slightly. Within a few moments, I would begin to quietly describe for Sarah possible feelings she might have that are typical of the water or airy stages. I might say, “as you sit rocking quietly I want you to notice what you might be feeling. There is nothing you need to do about the feeling right now, just notice it. You might feel lonely, sad, depressed, overwhelmed, a longing, a need, a wanting.” As Sarah is now in a relaxed state, distanced from her anger, she is in the perfect place emotionally, physically and energetically to explore her feelings. Rocking or swaying is a motion that is watery or airy in nature and can help the body connect more easily with the underlying emotions. As emotions are felt and expressed, some of the energetic circuitry begins to come alive again. The body begins to remember what business was left undone and attempts to restore itself to balance. Not only will the child or teen experience increased physical health and vigor as a result of such work, but they will mature and heal as well. Emotional health returns and social relationships thrive.